Tuesday, June 9, 2009


Since the time I got to know you until know this is all I have felt..
I'll miss you when you are gone..


I wanted to be in your heart
But I didn't make it there
For the overdose of reality came
And It was way too much to bare

I wanted so many more things
But not every wish can come true
Fate stepped in and took it’s course
There’s simply no me and you

I wanted to brag and hold you with pride
But there’s fantasy on a fine line
Impossible wishes cannot be granted
So I guess you’ll never be mine

I wanted to tell you all I’ve felt
But your reassuring words would be fiction
We weren’t made to be together
Even though you’re my single addiction

I wanted to be your everything
But I’m not your dream come true
The thing that stings and forever will
Is I once was beautiful to you

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


"I could not ask for more than this time together,I could ask for more than this time with you.Every prayer has been answered,Every dream I've had come true.Right here in this moment,Is right where I meant to be.Here with you, here with me."

I have found that no matter how mad you can be at someone, once "I'm Sorry" has been said, meant and they can make you laugh and smile then it never was worth being mad. Over the last couple of months I have become friends with this guy who is moving at the end of the month. As time has gone on I have found that not only is it sad that he is leaving but I have found myself liking him. He and I have spent a lot of time with each other and we both have decided to let life take its course and see what happens. But the other night when something happened and he made me feel like this is just a game and really hurt me, I had had enough. What happened will remain a unmentioned. However I have never felt so hurt to the point of having to actually leave come back wake him back up yell and then storm out.. But what he did next is the reason I can no longer be mad. After everything that has happened he called me at 7:30 am and said that he needed to apologize for what happened. Now I listened and was still mad but when he asked if he could call me later I said yes and after we talked more and he explained things I was not so mad, but when he said he wanted to see me and it was up to me and he didn't want to lose what we already had going on it meant a lot more to me then I thought it would. I am no longer mad and we are going to let things continue to go forward.

With this story being said I am going to live in the moment. There is always going to be hurt and pain but that should no stop me from being happy and living for the moment. The moments that are here now are the ones that are most important. Tomorrow is not guaranteed so take today and run with it.

Monday, June 1, 2009


Pourquoi = Why
This is a question that can never be answered when it really comes down to it. When you find yourself asking questions about your life and things happening in it you always ask why? Why reminds me of the word "IF" its just there and you never know Why or If things will work out. And then there is "How" which once again is followed up by why at some point. See this is just a never ending circle. Kind of like Life..

To my dear friend..
I know that you want to know Why and How and If.. But I can not answer these questions for you. You have to be strong and no matter what follow your heart. Some times your heart might take you to a place you can't stand but it knows what it wants. You never get to choose who you will be with in this world and who will love you. Just remember that you are strong and can handle anything life hands you. STOP looking for the one who will complete you. He will be placed in your life with out you ever knowing and your heart will be able to tell you if he is the one. Never give up something with out a fight.. But also remember that if you love something set it free and if it comes back it was meant to be. My friend I wish I could tell you why and how and if, I hate to see the hurt in your eyes.. I want nothing more then to see you smile and not hurt. I will always be here to listen and talk or just to sit in silence and watch the sunset with no words spoken. You are me friend and I love you as if you were my own sister.