Wanted...

Since the time I got to know you until know this is all I have felt..
I'll miss you when you are gone..


Wanted...

I wanted to be in your heart
But I didn't make it there
For the overdose of reality came
And It was way too much to bare

I wanted so many more things
But not every wish can come true
Fate stepped in and took it’s course
There’s simply no me and you

I wanted to brag and hold you with pride
But there’s fantasy on a fine line
Impossible wishes cannot be granted
So I guess you’ll never be mine

I wanted to tell you all I’ve felt
But your reassuring words would be fiction
We weren’t made to be together
Even though you’re my single addiction

I wanted to be your everything
But I’m not your dream come true
The thing that stings and forever will
Is I once was beautiful to you

Moments..

"I could not ask for more than this time together,I could ask for more than this time with you.Every prayer has been answered,Every dream I've had come true.Right here in this moment,Is right where I meant to be.Here with you, here with me."



I have found that no matter how mad you can be at someone, once "I'm Sorry" has been said, meant and they can make you laugh and smile then it never was worth being mad. Over the last couple of months I have become friends with this guy who is moving at the end of the month. As time has gone on I have found that not only is it sad that he is leaving but I have found myself liking him. He and I have spent a lot of time with each other and we both have decided to let life take its course and see what happens. But the other night when something happened and he made me feel like this is just a game and really hurt me, I had had enough. What happened will remain a unmentioned. However I have never felt so hurt to the point of having to actually leave come back wake him back up yell and then storm out.. But what he did next is the reason I can no longer be mad. After everything that has happened he called me at 7:30 am and said that he needed to apologize for what happened. Now I listened and was still mad but when he asked if he could call me later I said yes and after we talked more and he explained things I was not so mad, but when he said he wanted to see me and it was up to me and he didn't want to lose what we already had going on it meant a lot more to me then I thought it would. I am no longer mad and we are going to let things continue to go forward.

With this story being said I am going to live in the moment. There is always going to be hurt and pain but that should no stop me from being happy and living for the moment. The moments that are here now are the ones that are most important. Tomorrow is not guaranteed so take today and run with it.

Pourquoi?

Pourquoi = Why
This is a question that can never be answered when it really comes down to it. When you find yourself asking questions about your life and things happening in it you always ask why? Why reminds me of the word "IF" its just there and you never know Why or If things will work out. And then there is "How" which once again is followed up by why at some point. See this is just a never ending circle. Kind of like Life..

To my dear friend..
I know that you want to know Why and How and If.. But I can not answer these questions for you. You have to be strong and no matter what follow your heart. Some times your heart might take you to a place you can't stand but it knows what it wants. You never get to choose who you will be with in this world and who will love you. Just remember that you are strong and can handle anything life hands you. STOP looking for the one who will complete you. He will be placed in your life with out you ever knowing and your heart will be able to tell you if he is the one. Never give up something with out a fight.. But also remember that if you love something set it free and if it comes back it was meant to be. My friend I wish I could tell you why and how and if, I hate to see the hurt in your eyes.. I want nothing more then to see you smile and not hurt. I will always be here to listen and talk or just to sit in silence and watch the sunset with no words spoken. You are me friend and I love you as if you were my own sister.

The Sounds of The Night

Passions revealed,
desires sedated,
never once believed,
such pleasures awaited.


Romance claimed lost,
desire now greed,
no ecstatic long nights,
just fulfilling a need.


But with lingering glances,
on satin smooth skin,
through the night we languish,
in the erotica of skin.


A candle lit dinner,
alone to test our will,
champagne on ice,
inhibitions to chill.


A fire in the hearth,
our only light,
yet hold back the urges,
as passion fills the night.

Caressing your hair,
a massage designed to please,
your breathing grows soft,
a sensual tease.

Lips finally meet,
so tender and hoping,
tongues intertwine,
searching not groping.

Finger tips trace,
from your neck down your spine,
awakening nerves the pleasure,
divine.

Cloths whisper as they fall to the floor,
bringing pleasure in the skin they show,
no rush no hurry all night,to take it slow.

A trail of kisses,
the soft backs of knees,
body's aching yearning,
eager to please.

By the light of the fire,
two body's join in an ancient rite,
as soft moans of pleasure,
become the sounds of the night.

Its been to long....

Wow its been a very long time since I have blogged anything. The last few months have been crazy. I am almost totally settled into my new apartment and I am slowly learning my way around Tampa and seeing what it really has to offer. Since the move I have been given the chance to get back in touch with my best friend. She is the one person in my life that no matter how many miles between us or how much time has gone by she has always been there. I can't thank her enough for all the support she has given to me. With out you I would be lost.

Now here is the question..
How do you deal when you find your heart wanting something that its scared of?

I have found that distance makes the heart grow founder, but it can lead to alot of hurt. I have been hurt by distance before and the choices that were made were not fair. However I have learned from them. I just want to know is it worth working for? I know you can't help who you fall for and can't run from being hurt, But is it worth the chance to give the time and effort to one person who you already know is moving away? I am scared to put my heart back out there just for it to get hurt yet again. I have learned so much and yet so little in this game of love.

Just as unhappy at 4:45 pm

So today is just getting better.. If you have read my blog you have already heard how my day is going. Well once I got to work I got a phone call and I was told that I did not receive the transfer I had applied for and that seemed like it was in the bag. I found out that they decided to re-hire someone else.. that was just the thing I needed to hear after only being at work for 45 minutes. Then I find out that my 2nd job has decided that they don't have the hours to give me but wants to keep me and they want me to stay on for the next 2 months count them 2 months and not get any hours so that in September they can start to give me hours again because that's when they get busy again! I am just so stressed out right this moment that if another thing goes wrong I might just scream!!

Not to happy at 6:45 am

So at 6:45 this morning I was getting ready to leave for work since I had to be there at 7:15. All was quiet in the house until my home phone rang and woke up Matt and my dog.. So now this is where I am mad I answer the phone and its my boss she is telling me never mind you don't have to be in until 7:45 (our normal time)! WTF Hello its now 6:55 you could have called a little earlier and I would have been able to get more sleep!!! And this my friends is the start to a very long day/week....

Sunday..

So today is Sunday my 2nd day off in a row. Tonight we are going out to have dinner with some friends to celebrate Matt turning 25 on Wednesday. I also spent the 1st half of the day making a carrot cake for him. Other then just hanging out and hoping that the rain has stopped there has been thing going on. I must say it is nice that I have 2 days off in a row but I have been really bored. Maybe next weekend it wont rain and I will have a chance to do something. 

Free is for me :)

So since I was off today I looked for some free samples and here they are! 

Please Enjoy!!  :)

For the ladies.. 

Free Sample of Dove Pro-age

Free Sample of Curel Lotion      

For the guys.. 

Free Sample of  Lacoste Cologne   

For the Office.. 

Free business cards from Vista Print 

( It asked if you want to buy anything but you don't have to to get the free cards )

For the Laundry.. 

A $1 off coupon for Downey Fabric Softener 

Need some flavor for your water? 

How about some TrueLemon 

For your Teeth..

How about a free ReachAccess     

Free Starbucks :)

So today after I brought the boys to the airport I thought I would stop by and get myself a nice cup of coffee at Starbucks. Now the Starbucks near my house has a drive-Thru which I love, So I pulled up to the drive-Thru placed my order and pulled up. Now there was a car already at the window and as I was sitting there waiting I started to notice he was taking his cup of coffee and then giving it back to the girl at the window. How strange I thought, he must have decided he did not like it or something but to make this even more strange he did this like 5 or six times. Finally after a 8 minute wait he drove away from the window. So when I pulled up I went to give the girl at the window and she said " It's on the house since you had to wait" I could not believe it! I have never gotten something for free just because I waited like 8-10 minutes. So with my Starbucks by my side and a smile on my face I drove away. That made a very good start to my day!!

Computer trouble...

Over the last couple of months I have been having some computer trouble but the other day my computer died and would not turn back on at all. So after having Matt look at it and take it apart and it still would not work I thought that it was dead forever. So the last couple days it has just been sitting on my end table in the living room. Tonight I was just sitting here watching tv with Sammy and I decided to try and see if it worked and much to my surprise it worked! I was very please that it decided to work and now I can continue to write and look at some things that other banks (jobs) might have to offer me..

Blah.. I guess...

You know sometimes I have a lot to say and sometimes I don't.. But today all I have to say is blah. The last 2 days have been really rough on me. I wish that some of the events in them did not happen.. My work life is just starting to get hard. The new manager is not that good and we have had 2 people leave us and one more is on the way out also.. It just makes it kinda stressful at work and trying not to take it home with me is even harder. Oh well like I said BLAH!!

Life Sucks!

All I have to say is Life Sucks right now!!!

Life

Have you ever taken a second to stop and think WOW? Well this afternoon I was playing ball with Sammy and as he brought it back to me a smile came across my face... The smile was caused from the thought that I have such a good life.. I mean I have a very nice apartment that I share with the best boyfriend that I could have ever asked for and we have the best puppy in the world.. I just think to myself how lucky I am and say WOW!!  

Bike Helmet

So this is my new helemt that Matt was no nice to let me get!  I love it so much it is so very me! 

I can't wait until Sunday when I get to wear it for the 1st time ever!!! Thats all I have to say about that! Bye!!

Grrr..

Okay so I think I might need a soap box for this one....



The other day MicMan7246 had a blog posted in which he ended up deleting.. (This is where I need a Soap Box climbs up on Soap Box)I want to know who thinks they have the right to decide to call up some one and tell them that what they say, think or do is wrong.. I am sorry but if you can not understand that todays WORLD is full of opinions you must be truly living under a rock. I belive that every single person is entiled to thier very own opinons. Now I also understand that your opinon is yours and yours alone and that you should never try to make anyone change thier opinon because you think yours is right, because that my friend is wrong! Anway I strongly feel that what MicMan7246 decided to blog about is truly how he felt and was his OWN opinon which was never ment to harm anyone.. But like I have already said its a Opinon!! So with coming to the end of my rant I have one more thing I would like to say before I step down from my soap box.. This is MY BLOG and MY OPINONS.. If you do not like what I say, think, or do then that is your OPINON! If you can't take my opinons that I choose to post here then Maybe just Maybe you should stop reading My Blog and leave My Opinons alone!! Thank You!! (Steps down from Soap Box)



P.S. I would like to let everyone know that from now on I have decided to use my blog as an anger outlet... So I will have some more rants to come I am sure!!

I have decided that I am going to give my blog a overhaul so please hang in there.... I will be start working on it tonight.. please just hang on a little longer I know that I have slacked but I am ready to get back in the swing of this blog thing :) Thanks

GRRRR!!!!

Today I had to work at a branch in Tampa (Bush Blvd.). All I have to say is YUCK! The people who work there were rude (all but one) and the place was so dirty :( I can't wait to go back to my branch tomorrow!! Thats all I have to say!

Happy Valentines Day!

I hope all of you have a Happy Valentines Day! I feel that I should say this just to keep myself happy today! So everyone have a good day!

State Fair

Matt and I went to the State Fair yesterday. I had such a good time. This was the 2nd time I had ever been to the fair, So to me it was a big deal. I think the best part is that it was Honey Day! Florida beekeepers were there selling honey and telling every one to have a honey of a day. Now if you know me you would find this funny since my last name is HONEY. I bought some Honey and got some stickers from them that said have a honey of a day (which I always do HA Ha). All in all I had a very good time at the fair!